This is the time of year when many parents are faced with the dreaded “College Drop Off.” Social media is flooded with pictures of decked-out dorm rooms and beaming freshman eager to begin the next chapter of their lives. Often the comments associated with these happy images offer condolences to parents, asking “How are you doing?” and “Are you holding up okay?”, not to mention the number of sad emojis to mark this emotional rite of passage.
I must admit that my first drop off ended with tears. They were primarily tears of joy, however, and not tears of sadness. We were helping our son get settled at a small liberal arts college that would allow him to pursue his dream of studying engineering. His path to college was somewhat unusual in that he decided to pursue track and field at the collegiate level toward the end of 11th grade, which was late in the process. During official visits the following September, he had the benefit of spending time on campuses that he had already chosen for their academic programs. Before we knew it, we were driving up to his dorm. Like our son, we were confident that he had made the right choice.
Two years later, it was time for our second drop off. Our daughter chose to study finance at a school that also happens to be my alma mater, and she is a fourth-generation family member to attend. I recall my high school days when I initially resisted the idea of following in the footsteps of my relatives. Like my daughter, I visited many colleges and weighed the pros and cons of various options. When I arrived on campus more than 30 years ago, I knew right away that it was a great fit.
Think of the advice you receive when your children are toddlers. When they take a tumble, the first thing they do is look up at mom or dad. In an instant, they gauge your reaction before deciding (1) if they are really hurt, and (2) whether they should cry. This scenario is not the first and won’t be the last time our children look to us for our reaction to events in their lives. College drop off is no different.
Many mothers have mentioned on social media that they have left part of their heart behind on campus. That was true for our first drop off and our second. I also like to think that once again I left part of my smile behind – a smile to remind my child that I am proud and confident that they chose well.
